Question: How does an English Nudist Spend Christmas?
Answer: Fully Clothed!

By Liz Egger     In which I get seasonal - and keep my clothes on for a change! ( From December  2005)

OK. Before I go any further I have to apologise to those of you who may not understand much of this article.

One of the joys of being a naturist is that we share our passion with so many people around the world.

But it's also what makes an international nudist audience difficult to write for.

Outside of naturism we enjoy different cultures, and our religious festivals such as Christmas may be unfamiliar to some of you. Even those of you who celebrate Christmas may do so indifferent ways, and the traditional customs which I mention below may have little meaning for you.

If so, I can only apologise again, and promise you that the in the next edition we'll all be back on familiar ground.

Anyway, much as I love it, I don't think the Christmas period is particularly "nudist friendly" .

I'm afraid the two things just don't go together.

It's probably because we live in the UK. You see, here we have The Great British Weather. 

Now I know that many of you live in the Southern Hemisphere where Christmas occurs in your summertime and you can celebrate the holiday naked in the sunshine.

But up here, in the north, Christmas happens slap bang in the middle of the winter and in the UK it's cold enough to freeze the brass knobs off a bedstead.

I'm a nudist, not a masochist, and the lower the temperature the more I become resolutely (and snugly) textile.

Look at me today, for instance.

I'm writing this in a lovely warm house with the heating full on and a log fire roaring half way up the chimney, but outside it's minus three degrees and it LOOKS so cold that I'm togged up like Eskimo Nell on a whale hunt.

Call me soft if you want, but just the thought of sitting here naked chills me rigid.

But it's not just the weather.

It's the whole Christmas atmosphere.

I love it, but it just doesn't go with being naked.

I mean, just consider. The whole thing's fraught with difficulty.

Log fires (sparks). Holly (prickly). Mistletoe (poisonous) Ivy (itchy)

Open the door naked to a bunch of carol singers and you'll get locked up until Easter.

Try decorating a Christmas tree in the buff and you'll be scrubbing pine resin out of your skin for a month.

And what in Heaven's name DO you buy a nudist for Christmas? 

Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy a nudist Christmas party in a sauna or someone's hot tub as much as anyone.

But at this time of the year nothing beats meeting good friends - fully dressed - in a splendid old coaching inn with a log fire crackling merrily in the hearth and a jolly landlord dispensing mulled wine and mince pies.

It just seems so ...well... appropriate.

Well, that's it for another year folks. If you have been, thanks for reading.

Let's all remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas, and try to spread some Peace and Goodwill in 2006. As always, it looks as if we may need it.

And please, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year yourself.

See you in January.

'Til next time,

Liz

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(This article may not be published or otherwise used without the written consent of the author.)
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