Dancing Bares!

By     In which I consider the rise of the nude disco.

My spies in the USA tell me that one of the latest crazes there is the nude disco. 
The bare all dance clubs first took off in Paris, France, and now the rage is sweeping the States, with at least one club already open in New York and by all accounts doing great business.
Some of the most popular dances are The Duck Squat the Wiggle Jiggle, and the Tummy Bump.
Here in the UK we seem to have escaped the nude disco. Instead we have the Nudist Pub. 
According to "B N" (British Naturism, the magazine of CCBN - the UK naturist association), an enterprising landlord in Birmingham hosts a regular nudist night, to which naturist beer lovers travel up to 60 miles to meet for a nights' nude boozing.
It seems a very jolly and popular event, judging by the photos I've seen, but I couldn't help noticing that the seats are covered with that plastic stuff to which naked skin sticks like syrup to a pancake. 
Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced these at other nude events, and they are definitely not nudist friendly. Even if you follow nudist etiquette to the letter and sit on a towel, they’ll catch you out. You see, whilst you’re sat down you don’t notice that the towel has fallen off the back part of the seat and left your naked flesh in direct contact with the plastic covering. You don’t notice, that is, until you get  up, when with a great ripping sound the skin is torn off your back in the most painful manner. And to add insult to injury you then have to cross the room to the ladies with a livid red weal across your back. It’s just not good for the image.
Not that you'll find me there anyway.
It's not that I don't approve of drinking. I like nothing better than a visit to my local pub for an evening's socialising with friends. But the idea of making a hundred mile round trip on a rainy  evening just so that I can do it naked is straining even my nudist credentials a little too far. 
Anyway, knowing my luck I'd lose the toss and end up driving.
And as for nude discos? 
Dancing in the buff on a warm summers' evening on an exotic beach is perfect. But having a Big Saturday Night Out in a city centre disco where everyone is naked doesn't have the same attraction. 
My disco-dancing Saturday nights are long gone now, so I don't suppose I'm in a position to judge. But if even I'd had the chance back when I was a disco diva, I don't think the idea would have appealed to me.
I suppose it would have stopped my mum complaining— as she always did , bless her—that my skirt was MUCH too short
But wherever would I keep my lipstick and make-up?

'Til next time,

Liz

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